KAROLYN

I am someone who seeks knowledge, growth, and connection while constantly striving to learn, grow, and improve, Although I'm an introvert and tend towards laziness that blends into restlessness that sometimes conflicts with occasional loneliness. I usually find myself either alone or with my small family listening to music, reading, painting, coloring, singing or digging in the dirt while at the same time wishing for more company.

I have a couple passion projects, but I mostly channel my artistic side through Powerkompany. For the last couple of years though, I focused my passion on starting a successful property business called Classic City Real Estate where we manage rentals and purchase and sell investment property. I love architecture and building a business and I feel very much like I've found a good passion project that can help support my family. Both are on IG and TikTok.

Describe your kids. 

My daughter is energetic and innovative, she loves to explore and learn everything and asks the best questions. She is kind, compassionate, thoughtful and generous, and usually willing to help around the house or in our community. She is patient and quiet, has a very mature sense of humor. Very athletic; a builder and a cautious thrill seeker. 

Describe your household. 

We have a cozy home filled with music and laughter, and we enjoy spending time together as a family. Despite living in a large house, we spend most of our time in one room in the open kitchen and living room with high ceilings. We have a large yard and garden that we all enjoy working in, as well as a patio area for outdoor activities like painting and water play in the warmer months. I'm trying to make our home into a warm and inviting space where family and friends can come together and spend time here.

When and how did you last surprise yourself? 

I last surprised myself when I was able to mimic the pitches and octaves of a singing bird outside our window yesterday. My daughter was surprised too.

What do you adore about being a mother?

I adore being a mother because it has enriched my life in so many ways. It changed me in ways I never knew I could be changed or wanted to be changed. It has given me true love and a tiny best friend. Being a mother has also taught me a lot about patience, resilience, and a tribe that I always knew I needed. 

What do you despise about being a mother?

One of the things that's tough about being a mother is the lack of personal time. It can be difficult to carve out time for myself with all of my responsibilities as a mother and homemaker and business maker. 

What's something you want to do differently than the generations of mothers before you? 

I want to be a different kind of mother than those before me by being more open, understanding, and supportive. I want to give my child the freedom to express herself and to embrace her individuality. I want her to know that I am always there for her and that I will be her greatest advocate. I want to teach her to be kind, to be courageous, and to never give up. I want to be the kind of mother who loves unconditionally and without judgment, being a positive role model and mentor to my child, trustworthy, understanding, open-minded and willing to try new things, who is able to embrace change, and who is excited to explore the world with her.

What is something you’re proud of so far in your motherhood journey?

I'm proud that I was able to work so hard and achieve enough to be able to have time to spend as much time with my daughter as I can stand.  

What do you think is the biggest misconception about motherhood?

That it will take everything from you and change you into a different person. That's all anyone tells you. What they don't say is that you might enjoy that and you might actually want to be the person you become. It's not a negative thing to change into someone different. Motherhood made me a better person. It's sappy, but f*ck it.

What do you think is the most common thread of motherhood?

It's got to be unconditional love. No matter what stage of life your children are in, you are always there to love and support them. You may not always agree with them, but you will always have their best interests at heart. You may not actually even be there in person if you are a mother who has decided to take an adoption route, but again, you have their best interests at heart. A mother has an innate desire to protect and nurture their children, to provide them with stability and security, and to try to be an unwavering source of love and comfort. I asked my father this question and he just said, "the common thread is that you've had a baby" .... big eye roll 

What energizes you?

 For me, it is the joy of watching my daughter grow and develop and seeing her amazing life force course through her tiny body. Seeing her take on new challenges and making progress is incredibly awe-inspiring. Being fully present and spending as much time with my daughter is what energizes me. 

What last made you belly laugh? 

 My daughter's current evening ritual is to quietly leave the dinner table after she's finished eating, go into the bathroom and strip off all her clothes and come running in to surprise us with a character she calls "tor-nude-do," ie a naked tornado. The first time that happened gave me a belly laugh, but then yesterday she proclaimed that "clean up tornudos do not exist." 

When do you and how do you feel totally relaxed? 

Usually when I'm walking through my garden at night and I can see the stars.

What is something that makes you cringe?

When people talk about politics or religion around me. Even if I agree with what's being said. 

Who or what kind of mother do you look up to and why?

I look up to the kind of mother who is calm and loving and when she's not, she's honest with herself and her kids and takes a break to get back to being lovely. 

When was the happiest you’ve seen your kid(s) and what were they doing?

Chasing a ball on the beach and running around in the waves of the ocean. 

What do you dream of for yourself? 

I dream of finding a passion that buoys me out of the sense of loneliness. I dream of finding a couple of friends who are within walking distance of wherever I'm living who I compliment well and they compliment me well. I sometimes think I want to live on a commune, but it would have to be a very eccentric and complimentary commune of people who are my match in life. I feel like I already know those people, but we don't live anywhere near each other and everyone is too busy to hang out much. 

For your children?

I dream that my child will find amazing, wonderful, generous, passionate and caring people to share her life with and create her own meaning with others. 

What, if anything, do you want to remember about your birth story?

My birth story was a huge disappointment at the time. I'm very sad that I was pressured by many factors, mostly my mother to have a "natural birth." I later found out that she didn't have a natural birth,  but a vaginal birth. She then shamed me in the hospital for having to have a C-section because my baby couldn't turn around in my narrow pelvis. I wasn't dilating as expected and no one told me why. The doctors, who were all male, just said that "most women would've had the baby by now." I was 36 hours into labor when I decided to have a C-section. I now wish that I had had the confidence to know that it didn't matter how I had the baby. I had a healthy, perfect child who didn't seem to be bothered by birth at all.

Early motherhood?

Early motherhood was alarming, jolting, lonely, sad and disappointing. Again, with the pressures of having to feel a certain way about my child, about my state of motherhood, etc. I didn't have any friends who had children so I was mostly on my own and left to deal with trying to figure out why my baby wasn't doing what the internet told me she was supposed to do... mainly sleeping and nursing patterns... I didn't feel like I even had a partner who was there to care for me. I had to tell him how to take care of me, which was deeply frustrating and put a damper on our relationship. Years later, we have recovered, but I will never forget how difficult that was for the first 4-6 months of my baby's life.

Family building?

My husband and I have discussed adoption a lot. We really love our family dynamic now, but we're searching for answers from the universe for signs to build our family more. We had so many magical and amazing things happen leading up to the conception and birth of our child and we want to feel that magic again if it's meant to be.

Anything else under the sun you’d like to share?

I volunteer with a group in Athens, GA called Athens Parents Well-being Group. It's a non-profit started by a woman who provided a community and services during my pregnancy and postpartum times at her shop Reblossom. I'd like to share the concept and the group with any and all parents who are feeling lonely or lost or just want some community and friends as new parents or even parents to another new baby. I very much wish this group had been around when I was in my postpartum daze, but now I'm very happy to help others who are feeling the same way.